Will you understand?

The news is not too good,
the dreams are getting old,
they have been dying for lack of sprinkle of creativity.

I drag my feet,
I make excuses,
I try but half heartedly.
Am I sad? Maybe...
Am I dis heartened....definitely...

I dreamt and started off on a journey,
some good turns happened,
some self discoveries happened.
I never lived up to the standards of the world.
I never made the mark I was expected to.

How do I explain?
I never set out to do that?
I started looking for something that made me happy,
kept my hands busy but also my heart and soul.

Alas I am still standing on the precipice of uncertainty,
I don't think I want what I started.
Do I answer to others why?
Do I NEED to explain?
The ones who know me...won't they understand?
or will they?