Perception of touch....

Every touch is different, like a fingerprint,

some touches express love by their mere presence and yet

there are certain touches that feel like they have an agenda.

Why so?

I wouldn't know and yet... I know.

The question I ask is that is a perception at every contact or is for real???

I felt it... a small gesture. Pressure on the side of my arm.

I felt it....a holding of the hand a little longer than required.

I felt it....the pressure of the thumb at the back of my hand.

Some fleeting touches ignite a passion or stir an emotion where some just feel warm

and are easy to let go.

To live is to connect and a connect that evokes emotion is all that really counts.

Living in isolation we all long for the connect... a true connect... one that makes us

happy. Not pleasant... genuinely happy.

That touch is to treasure forever.

Waiting for Godot....

When I read the play...so long ago....I loved it ...
But today I understand it.

The perpetual state of waiting.
We wait to go somewhere. We wait to get somewhere. We wait for someone.
We wait .... period.
All our lives.
It is our illusion to think we have control and we can get up and end the waiting...
WE find that no matter how much we begin walking...we still end up where we
were until destiny has willed it so.

So is there free will? Don't think so.

The wheel will turn at its own pace and events will play out the way they will.

All we get to do is...wait.....

Thus... we are all Waiting for Godot. 

Hello Sun....its me...Flower!!

Every morning I got up, I looked up and there he was...
the Sun...shining bright, smiling down at me.
As I saw him come alive, I came alive.
It made me want to burst with colour and fragrance.
I would puff up myself, face it and then smile.
I would give me best smile...every time.

The days the sun was hidden behind clouds...or the nights
when the moon would shine,
I would still remember its warmth and glow and it would make me
wrap myself around me with its memories and still smile.

I began to believe the sun came out only for me.
I presumed that I was the reason it shone so bright.
I assumed that just to see me smile, it put out its warmth and love.

That is ...until I found out ...it was not.
The realization saddened me.
I began to shrivel day by day.
My fragrance began to fade.
And I endeavoured to wrap my self helplessly within myself.
I realized I was not that special to him.
His love was free for all and not for one.
I was ashamed to be presumptuous...
I was embarrassed to puff up and burst with happiness...
I looked around now and saw how I must look.

I died that night....and the last thought in my mind was
maybe I should at least say it out loud what I felt...
So I said... Hello Sun....its me...Flower....I love you....Thank you!!!

Look .....I long for you....

I look at you longingly...my heart aching to hold you once again...

my arms jerk involuntarily every time I see you. 

All I feel like is to reach out and touch you...

Holding my breath for you to focus on me just once...

You are lost in your thoughts...busy looking 

at this world bustle around you ... as if trying to make 

sense of this newness of existence and yet you look 

like an old soul that knows. 

Your eyes are lit with the fore knowledge of the past present and the future. 

My love for you grows and grows till I think my heart will

spontaneously burst.

Your smile your gentle touch and your beauty astounds me till 

it makes me a believer that there is a God who has created beauty in 

every iota of this green blue Earth. 

I love you... I did when you were not there....I loved the thought of you...

I love you....today when I behold your form of perfection. 

I love you ... every day ..as long as I breath you will be a part of every breath

I take...you are constantly in my thoughts....when you are not with me...

I am thinking of things I want to tell you....talk to you...

when I see you ...I want to curl up with you and never let you go...

as the world does not hold any worth unless you are near... :)

Corner of my Heart...

There is a corner of my heart I seldom visit...
Every once in a while I wander in its direction.

I can hear my steps like in a hollow tomb.
There are cobwebs of time.
some paintings like memories have gathered dust over time.

I run my mind over them like I would run my hand over a steamy mirror,
I end up pressing my palm to my heart...and try to see clearly...
sometimes I do see and feel the times again... sometimes I get only figments and fleeting
moments....scraps and snaps of things gone by long ago.

My heart aches at some visits and smiles at some.
My entire being yearns to recapture the past...
my mind just sits smug...high up.....knowing it will never be...
yet my heart...is unconsolable...

I slowly extract myself from the corner and silently pull
close the door,
vowing again, vainly, to never return...

but corner tugs at the most unexpected times...

I ignore it...

yet I know it is still there...quite....waiting ....for my return...

waiting for my heart's hollow footsteps to fall in its direction.....again!!!