It hits me out of the blue and boy do I get blue.
My arms ache to reach out and be engulfed.
I ache for the warmth that can melt away my sadness.
My body rocks to an ancient rhythm. The rocking of my body in a soothing
motion that remind me of my mother's embrace.
I ache for the love and the familiarity that is slipping away everyday.
I have loved ones around me, I am loved, I am cherished ...yet
its not enough. I miss the care and affections of the ones that are departed.
As the seasons turn,
I am reminded of their loss.
I see them in my dreams and sometimes I catch them
from the corner of my eye.
I hear their voice , calling my name and I reach my arms out...
trying to reach them.
Then I wake up and know...
that they are gone.
That begins the cycle of sadness that I have to push away everyday.
A loss is not of just a person,
but of moments, life, memories, a part of our lives.
It cannot be mourned and be moved on from.
It is something we deal with every day.
I decide each day I am not going to let it take me down.
And then....the blues hit....and boy do they hit.
My heart aches with the memory of my mother's embrace.
My father's loving hand on my fore head,
the way he tucked my strand of hair behind my ear,
how Mom got us ready for school.
How I took it all for granted ....and now....
I just wish I could go back and remember more details.
Yet all that I remember and miss most is her hugs.
His voice.
Their love.
My days ache from their loss.
I will smile and live and love....but part of me will always ache for them.
