Look inside her

You love your mother, you love your wife...you love your sister.

These are the roles a person plays in relationships.

But do you love her for HER?

Would you love her for just HER?

If she was not your wife, your mother, or your sister?

SHE is more than her relationships.

Inside all the garments of the roles, she has to don, she is a being of light.

She thinks... she dreams, she has desires and she has feelings.

Do you judge her by the moulds set out for her role?

Does she not fit? Does that bother you?

Have you ever said, this is not how a wife should behave or a mother or a sister?

WHY?

Can she not be HER? Her true self with you? Why does that invoke distaste in you?

There is no right or wrong kind of being. There is only being.

Let her BE.

When she is truly herself can she give you her true self.

Or she will always play her role, her duty with you and you will never know her true essence.

Her true form of being. The supreme light she can be.

Let HER light shine through and love her for HER not for who she is to you.

one step

One step forward and two steps back.

Lying to oneself is easy and to others...even easier. We all have instincts and our instincts tell us when someone is angry with us, when they have shut down , when they are ignoring us and when ...they just don't care. Yes, certainly sometimes we are mistaken and it is not all that sombre. Thus in relationships its like a dance... we take one step towards someone and then retreat two steps, afraid of being hurt or hurting others. Self doubt and second guessing has become my second nature. Which leads me to....

I am confused about myself. The direction where I am headed, my reasons for the things I do and for what is it that I am on this God's green earth to do? To be a mother? To be a friend? To be a wife? To be a worker? To be a writer? To be a painter? To be a cook? I have numerous interests and yet nothing fuels my passions on an on going basis.
I see the judgement in people's eyes. For the longest time people worked hard for women to get education and equal rights. It is still an ongoing battle in some places. Does that not put undue pressure on women who have it and yet want to be something other than a worker bee or just ambitious for career and money? Can't I just want to be me? These existential issues keep coming up and I struggle with them some and then let them go at times. I let go of them and my insecurities until I come across someone again asking me, "Don't you have a MBA?" Does that mean that I HAVE to use my degree? Does that mean I have no other options? Does that not mean that I have that too as an option if I choose it to be?
That then brings me right back to...what DO I want? Which comes back as a resounding "I have no Bloody idea!!!" 

Aspire to be great...or don't... its ok !

We all have aspirations. Over the years ...the people I have met...all have something or the other they believe is their goal in life or is their destiny or they aspire to be. Some want to be Spectacular, some mediocre, some women just want a family and some men just want to be free. I have met people who aspire to be great..even if it is just at their work or job while some just want o survive and be able to breath and live to be a 100! 

Don’t you see? Even the most unambitious of us have some ambition or aspiration! 

What i wonder is if we as individuals have a right to judge the other for their decisions or aspirations? The paths they choose to lead to the way they want to go is their choice and their decision. Something they thought was the best road that leads to where they want to go or lead away from where they do not. Can we decide what is right or wrong for someone? As a parent, friend or spouse? Can we completely comprehend the reasoning and the deduction of one individual who has the sum total of their beliefs, experiences , fears and choices. I think not! We all make our decisions, we are entitled to change as our lives progress but no one gets to tell us that this is the right way to be! We be as we need to be at that point of time and then we galvanize when the moment is right. Not a moment before or after! I can choose to be a Hero or Coward! No one can tell me what is moral and what is immoral or ethical or non ethical. There is and that is my opinion entirely...just our choice of what we choose. The standards were set decades  or millenniums ago as guidelines or suggestions of what can be...but in no means can they be the prime directive of the way of life! Each life like a finger print is unique, every person has their own choices by which they get to the point of the fork in the road where they find themselves. The only guide and moral compass must be how they feel? Will that decision be the one they can live with....I don’t say people do not compromise to their circumstances.... some forks in the road lead people to decide that too, and that by no means that they are cowards or not true to their nature or worse! Its their decision to be as they are ... for the while and the rest of their time if they choose as they feel  that is the best course of action...in this case inaction. Its a tough life, each day one makes choices and decisions that effect them. Fear may not be an option but it is very real to most. We are microcosmic in this Universe and if we look at the enormity of the Universe we realize it, but the reality is that most people do not. They are self centred and all they know is themselves, their lives and how and what effects them.... that is all that matter to them. If we look up to the stars we will see that we have 1 life that we know of and thats all we can do... is make this one the best we can! 

So note to self... aspire to be great but don’t kill yourself trying too hard , its ok if you don't want to be that either...its ok not to know what you want and it is definitely ok not to know where you are going from this point on!!