Woman power

All my life I have been told and I am sure many of you have been told growing up. 

“Conceal….don’t feel.”

“Act like a lady.” 

“Behave yourself.”

“Say you are sorry.” 

“Don’t be a drama queen.”

I can go on and on about the things I heard parents tell their kids especially girls. Growing up it all became a part of my psyche. 

As women we have been told to be extra careful and mindful and it gets ingrained in our brains till we start manifesting those voices in our heads as our own thinking. 

My mind reels at all the information I have been handed down and belief system that is actually flawed. It worked for the last generation but evolution is constant and thus it is now necessary to move away from those thinking processes to a more elevated plain of thought. 

As women we are strong, capable and so much better informed. We have the strength to change the world. The power has always resided in us. Thus in many cultures women are revered and Goddesses are offered offerings to please and blessings are asked for.

Then why is it that we as women are the first to gossip? To judge the other woman? To belittle and trivialize their journey? 

We are the foundation of humanity. The power then lies within us build a strong and reliable society on it. 

Where am I going with this? I think women empower women like no one else. 

I was recently at a workshop where after an intense session I found myself emotional and teary eyed. The women around me reached out and helped me. No judgment. They helped me deal with my emotions and understood me. It was empowering. I was grateful for their compassion and love that was sent my way. But the biggest take away for me was how we as women, as a collective are stronger. When we hold each other up. We shine! We all can shine together. 

It’s okay to be emotional, to be vulnerable to be raw. We are allowed to cry. We can tell our kids that it’s ok to cry. We do not have to be brave all the time. 

When our children see us cry. Other women see us cry, they are moved to compassion and there in that moment a bridge is build. A connection. A trust bond. That what vulnerability does for you. Do not be afraid to show who you are. Do not be afraid to let go. Do not be afraid to be sad sometimes.  

All roads lead to love. To more love, connections and the openness of the heart and mind. 

There is a reason in olden days women congregated together and worked through each others’ problems. They supported each other and together they built strong communities. In some cultures women still do that. It has power. Now the question is how do they use this power? 

As the quote goes “With any great power comes great responsibility.” 

Does it matter...should it matter ?

Your hair are too thin,
You let yourself go,
You need to cut back on carbs.

Really?
Have you seen yourself?
Does it matter really to you or anyone if my hair are thin?

Would you not rather know how I am doing?
If I am happy?
If something is not well with me?

Why are appearances that all that matter?

The bigger question is why do I care?
Should I care?
What they think?
Why does it still bother me?

Life is tough... why make it tougher for someone by judging them? 

My mortality

Today out of most...
I am reminded of the frailty of the human body,
the mortality of a human life...
and the never ending and surprising arrogance to think we are immortal.

We are of dust and will soon be dust again,
none...no matter how much of an achiever will take anything with us.
We will end where we began...into oblivion.

Time is short...so short.....so many roads to travel,
so many lives to touch....so many hues to see.
Yet the sand trickles away....bit by bit....slips through the narrow passage of time.

We see it happen to others and yet feel that it cannot happen to us.
We make plans, we have ambitions....we take liberties....
all in vain.
All can be dashed in a breath. A breath that can leave in less
than a blink of an eye.

We are mortal. We are all here with finite time.
Make it count. Make. Every.Breath. Count.
Not for anyone else....but for yourself...
when the time comes....never should there be a regret.

I am a woman.

I as a woman am offended when in the name of religion women are expected to sacrifice.
Recently I was faced with an argument that a religious practice called Karwa Chauth.
A practice in the Indian faith where women fast all day long without food and water for the long
life of their husband and eat only after the moon is out. I like anyone else would want to wish well on my spouse. Though why the need to fast is my first question and secondly why women? Should it not go both ways? Why can men not observe this practice for the well being of women in their lives? Women who marry them, live with them, give them kids, take care of homes, also cook at times, as per Indian tradition they leave all that they know behind to give the men a life, make their families their own, their parents give dowries, pay for lavish and extravagant weddings, they even get tortured by in laws for in factions like infertility.
The whole premise of my question is why in this time and era do women still fear? Our parents spent as much time, money and love on us as much as men? What then gives men the gall to presume they are superior?  Why sell ourselves short? Why not teach our daughters that they are worth it. They should not settle and never be with anyone who or his family does not respect her and her family which is common humanity.
From ancient times women have been treated like chattel. They were bartered like commodity, they were plundered, raped and sodomized as per convenience. Is it not enough? We have stepped into the 21st century, we aspire to reach the far galaxies and planets and yet we cannot respect human beings equally?
The verbatim definition of feminism is "the advocacy of women's rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men."
 Is it not time we upheld it and respect women by providing equal rights as a society in India and the world? 

one step

One step forward and two steps back.

Lying to oneself is easy and to others...even easier. We all have instincts and our instincts tell us when someone is angry with us, when they have shut down , when they are ignoring us and when ...they just don't care. Yes, certainly sometimes we are mistaken and it is not all that sombre. Thus in relationships its like a dance... we take one step towards someone and then retreat two steps, afraid of being hurt or hurting others. Self doubt and second guessing has become my second nature. Which leads me to....

I am confused about myself. The direction where I am headed, my reasons for the things I do and for what is it that I am on this God's green earth to do? To be a mother? To be a friend? To be a wife? To be a worker? To be a writer? To be a painter? To be a cook? I have numerous interests and yet nothing fuels my passions on an on going basis.
I see the judgement in people's eyes. For the longest time people worked hard for women to get education and equal rights. It is still an ongoing battle in some places. Does that not put undue pressure on women who have it and yet want to be something other than a worker bee or just ambitious for career and money? Can't I just want to be me? These existential issues keep coming up and I struggle with them some and then let them go at times. I let go of them and my insecurities until I come across someone again asking me, "Don't you have a MBA?" Does that mean that I HAVE to use my degree? Does that mean I have no other options? Does that not mean that I have that too as an option if I choose it to be?
That then brings me right back to...what DO I want? Which comes back as a resounding "I have no Bloody idea!!!" 

Dreams are expensive

When I watch a fantasy show....the one thing is always repeated...Magic comes with a price....
But then if we translate it in our real life....
our dreams are figuratively magic and thus our dreams have a price.....and quite an expensive one for that!
I wonder why the Universe exacts such a huge pound of flesh for a dream we dare to dream....
I guess that is why we live most our lives on auto pilot...afraid of dreaming....even imagining to dare that there could be a different reality than what we live in...
It is definitely easy to say all one has to do is get up and change their circumstances or just take the first step....but not everyone has the the courage to do so....thus fear rules our lives....or is it that we know the price we have to pay for a dream....dream to have a different reality...to take a different path...to desire...to achieve...to be....or to mean anything more......
Dreams are like those fleeting foggy clouds...misty and flimsy passing through the skies of our  mind....we see them....we feel their moist kisses on our brow passing over us....making our body clammy with desire....yet we dare not stop and try to solidify them....because we know ....to stop a dream and try to hold on...may mean giving up every single thing you know and hold dear...it will question your very existence.....