Look inside her

You love your mother, you love your wife...you love your sister.

These are the roles a person plays in relationships.

But do you love her for HER?

Would you love her for just HER?

If she was not your wife, your mother, or your sister?

SHE is more than her relationships.

Inside all the garments of the roles, she has to don, she is a being of light.

She thinks... she dreams, she has desires and she has feelings.

Do you judge her by the moulds set out for her role?

Does she not fit? Does that bother you?

Have you ever said, this is not how a wife should behave or a mother or a sister?

WHY?

Can she not be HER? Her true self with you? Why does that invoke distaste in you?

There is no right or wrong kind of being. There is only being.

Let her BE.

When she is truly herself can she give you her true self.

Or she will always play her role, her duty with you and you will never know her true essence.

Her true form of being. The supreme light she can be.

Let HER light shine through and love her for HER not for who she is to you.

Love is addictive

Love is a feeling.
We all have it in our lives in some form or the other.

When you find it in your partner though...that's the love that makes you feel blessed.
It warms your heart.
Brings you peace.
Every breath you take makes you feel engulfed in a warm hug of your beloved.

That love.
That love is addictive.

You want to stay in the haze of it.
Be surrounded by it.

No matter where you are....or what you are doing.
It is ever-present.
Like your breath. It becomes a part of who you are.

Love is a feeling... it is like God... you cannot see it... you can only feel it... it cannot be forced...it can only be felt... you will know when you have it. 

Woman power

All my life I have been told and I am sure many of you have been told growing up. 

“Conceal….don’t feel.”

“Act like a lady.” 

“Behave yourself.”

“Say you are sorry.” 

“Don’t be a drama queen.”

I can go on and on about the things I heard parents tell their kids especially girls. Growing up it all became a part of my psyche. 

As women we have been told to be extra careful and mindful and it gets ingrained in our brains till we start manifesting those voices in our heads as our own thinking. 

My mind reels at all the information I have been handed down and belief system that is actually flawed. It worked for the last generation but evolution is constant and thus it is now necessary to move away from those thinking processes to a more elevated plain of thought. 

As women we are strong, capable and so much better informed. We have the strength to change the world. The power has always resided in us. Thus in many cultures women are revered and Goddesses are offered offerings to please and blessings are asked for.

Then why is it that we as women are the first to gossip? To judge the other woman? To belittle and trivialize their journey? 

We are the foundation of humanity. The power then lies within us build a strong and reliable society on it. 

Where am I going with this? I think women empower women like no one else. 

I was recently at a workshop where after an intense session I found myself emotional and teary eyed. The women around me reached out and helped me. No judgment. They helped me deal with my emotions and understood me. It was empowering. I was grateful for their compassion and love that was sent my way. But the biggest take away for me was how we as women, as a collective are stronger. When we hold each other up. We shine! We all can shine together. 

It’s okay to be emotional, to be vulnerable to be raw. We are allowed to cry. We can tell our kids that it’s ok to cry. We do not have to be brave all the time. 

When our children see us cry. Other women see us cry, they are moved to compassion and there in that moment a bridge is build. A connection. A trust bond. That what vulnerability does for you. Do not be afraid to show who you are. Do not be afraid to let go. Do not be afraid to be sad sometimes.  

All roads lead to love. To more love, connections and the openness of the heart and mind. 

There is a reason in olden days women congregated together and worked through each others’ problems. They supported each other and together they built strong communities. In some cultures women still do that. It has power. Now the question is how do they use this power? 

As the quote goes “With any great power comes great responsibility.” 

Perception of touch....

Every touch is different, like a fingerprint,

some touches express love by their mere presence and yet

there are certain touches that feel like they have an agenda.

Why so?

I wouldn't know and yet... I know.

The question I ask is that is a perception at every contact or is for real???

I felt it... a small gesture. Pressure on the side of my arm.

I felt it....a holding of the hand a little longer than required.

I felt it....the pressure of the thumb at the back of my hand.

Some fleeting touches ignite a passion or stir an emotion where some just feel warm

and are easy to let go.

To live is to connect and a connect that evokes emotion is all that really counts.

Living in isolation we all long for the connect... a true connect... one that makes us

happy. Not pleasant... genuinely happy.

That touch is to treasure forever.

Either you know or you don't

No one person can be it all.
We all need a cornucopia of spices to make our lives more flavourful.

Is it easy...not by a long shot.
Can everyone understand it....no way.

That being said, one life...we make it what it is.

We can live in the confines of our confinements and yet spread our arms wide and reach the edges of
our existence.
No one can tell us what is right or wrong for us but us.

We can be committed and yet feel the freedom of the soul.

It makes my heart sing....to know that I can steal moments from my life and make then my own.
No one can take them away from me.
I own them and file them under the category of  memories to visit when I want to feel alive again....
in the meanwhile we march on....

Does it matter...should it matter ?

Your hair are too thin,
You let yourself go,
You need to cut back on carbs.

Really?
Have you seen yourself?
Does it matter really to you or anyone if my hair are thin?

Would you not rather know how I am doing?
If I am happy?
If something is not well with me?

Why are appearances that all that matter?

The bigger question is why do I care?
Should I care?
What they think?
Why does it still bother me?

Life is tough... why make it tougher for someone by judging them? 

one step

One step forward and two steps back.

Lying to oneself is easy and to others...even easier. We all have instincts and our instincts tell us when someone is angry with us, when they have shut down , when they are ignoring us and when ...they just don't care. Yes, certainly sometimes we are mistaken and it is not all that sombre. Thus in relationships its like a dance... we take one step towards someone and then retreat two steps, afraid of being hurt or hurting others. Self doubt and second guessing has become my second nature. Which leads me to....

I am confused about myself. The direction where I am headed, my reasons for the things I do and for what is it that I am on this God's green earth to do? To be a mother? To be a friend? To be a wife? To be a worker? To be a writer? To be a painter? To be a cook? I have numerous interests and yet nothing fuels my passions on an on going basis.
I see the judgement in people's eyes. For the longest time people worked hard for women to get education and equal rights. It is still an ongoing battle in some places. Does that not put undue pressure on women who have it and yet want to be something other than a worker bee or just ambitious for career and money? Can't I just want to be me? These existential issues keep coming up and I struggle with them some and then let them go at times. I let go of them and my insecurities until I come across someone again asking me, "Don't you have a MBA?" Does that mean that I HAVE to use my degree? Does that mean I have no other options? Does that not mean that I have that too as an option if I choose it to be?
That then brings me right back to...what DO I want? Which comes back as a resounding "I have no Bloody idea!!!" 

My hush...

What bothers me is the hush...
The silence...
Like we were just talking and in mid sentence you stopped...just stopped and I was left holding my breath...wondering...what you were going to say...if you were going to say what I hope you were going to say...
Then the space between us is filled with this uneasy quite that makes me sad....
I feel a feeling of gloom settle over me..I frown and my eyes mist up...
I want us to talk forever..with you...about everything....
Your loves, your passions, your beliefs, your disappointments, your desires, your ambitions...your quirks...I want to learn every wrinkle and every nuance of yours for the rest of my life.
Idealist you call me? Utopian? A die hard romantic? Yes...maybe...but this is me...the me inside wants to say hello to the inside of you...
I do not care what you show to be to the world out there...but with me...peel off that mask...that layer of grime you cast on your beautiful face to hide yourself from the hurt around you...
Yes...I see you...all of you...and what I can't see...I want to see desperately...
only do not let the hush get so long that it blankets every other sense of mine and fill me with the gossamer of doubts....
In the silence of the night ...when the world turns their face to the dark and their eyes clasp the sheer dark curtains of sleep...I wait....I wait for you to fill my silence.... the quite roars in my ears and I wait for you to whisper your thoughts and your smile I feel through your words and voice....
I want to reach over and touch the corner of your voice.... the sound that takes every single fear from me and casts it aside... sets me free of myself and gives me the courage to face my tomorrows...