Woman power

All my life I have been told and I am sure many of you have been told growing up. 

“Conceal….don’t feel.”

“Act like a lady.” 

“Behave yourself.”

“Say you are sorry.” 

“Don’t be a drama queen.”

I can go on and on about the things I heard parents tell their kids especially girls. Growing up it all became a part of my psyche. 

As women we have been told to be extra careful and mindful and it gets ingrained in our brains till we start manifesting those voices in our heads as our own thinking. 

My mind reels at all the information I have been handed down and belief system that is actually flawed. It worked for the last generation but evolution is constant and thus it is now necessary to move away from those thinking processes to a more elevated plain of thought. 

As women we are strong, capable and so much better informed. We have the strength to change the world. The power has always resided in us. Thus in many cultures women are revered and Goddesses are offered offerings to please and blessings are asked for.

Then why is it that we as women are the first to gossip? To judge the other woman? To belittle and trivialize their journey? 

We are the foundation of humanity. The power then lies within us build a strong and reliable society on it. 

Where am I going with this? I think women empower women like no one else. 

I was recently at a workshop where after an intense session I found myself emotional and teary eyed. The women around me reached out and helped me. No judgment. They helped me deal with my emotions and understood me. It was empowering. I was grateful for their compassion and love that was sent my way. But the biggest take away for me was how we as women, as a collective are stronger. When we hold each other up. We shine! We all can shine together. 

It’s okay to be emotional, to be vulnerable to be raw. We are allowed to cry. We can tell our kids that it’s ok to cry. We do not have to be brave all the time. 

When our children see us cry. Other women see us cry, they are moved to compassion and there in that moment a bridge is build. A connection. A trust bond. That what vulnerability does for you. Do not be afraid to show who you are. Do not be afraid to let go. Do not be afraid to be sad sometimes.  

All roads lead to love. To more love, connections and the openness of the heart and mind. 

There is a reason in olden days women congregated together and worked through each others’ problems. They supported each other and together they built strong communities. In some cultures women still do that. It has power. Now the question is how do they use this power? 

As the quote goes “With any great power comes great responsibility.” 

I am beautiful...you are beautiful...we are all beautiful!!

Yes, I am. It took me a very very long time to say that....and much longer to believe it. When someone calls you names and points out a physical uniqueness, it hurts. Just like you call someone fat, deaf, retard, gay, brown, shortie, skinny, blind, darkie, paki, etcetra...ahh...did you hear something that has been said to you? It hurts doesn't it?
Am I sensitive...you betcha I am. So would anyone else be who has feelings. Yes its called being decent, respectful and civilized. Now I am not asking anyone to be hypocritical. One can say what one thinks. Just be mindful of people's feelings is what I ask.
This is a much bigger issue than one would perceive. For one these are labels people give to people to make fun of them and some in the misguided opinion that they are doing them a favor by being blunt. Well, honestly these labels and name calling hurts. Don't we tell children not to call their peers names? Do we not tell them to be respectful and polite? Why? If you are going to go around calling people names? You think your child will hear what you are saying or ape what you are doing? Then what? They grow up and replicate a rude and insensitive society and continue to propagate such behavior.
It is not only a over weight person or any other physical short coming person that feels hurt. Have you thought of a beautiful girl. When you tell her she is gorgeous she feels good. But then any body randomly calling her Hotty, Sexy, Babe.... and cat calling and whistling. Does it not hurt her? Did she ask to be attractive. Most women will tell you they are shy and cringe at such attention. Now some people might say  boo hoo, poor little attractive girl. Yet, she is being labeled as well. My beef is not with just calling people names but also understand that people have feelings and those feelings get hurt.
Do not defend such people by saying its their culture, they are old timers, its endearing. Where will it stop then? Educate them. It might fall on deaf ears. It might be like banging your head on a brick wall, but in the end you have to TRY. By throwing your hands up and saying what can we do? Ignore such people. You are also passively encouraging such behavior. Break the cycle. Say no. Push back. Don't be aggressive or rude...by all means be civil. But find a way to let such people know that it is not okay to call people names even if they thought it was funny. It is not. It is annoying.
We want to leave this world a better place not worse.
When we look at a coming of age movie or read a book we usually clap and talk incessantly about how brave the protagonist was and fought for their identity and earned our respect. Well, why can you not take it one step further and bring the respect home? Recognize your flaws and at least try to work on them. Stop others from indulging in that kind of behavior.

There is an Indian saying by a poet Kabir-

"बड़ा हुआ तो क्या हुआ , जैसे पेड खजूर !
पंथी को छाया नहीं, फल लगे अति दूर !!"

Translation- It doesn't matter how big you get, just like a date/palm tree. 
                   Until you do not provide a weary traveler any shade or fruit ,
                                       you are of no consequence!