Perception of touch....

Every touch is different, like a fingerprint,

some touches express love by their mere presence and yet

there are certain touches that feel like they have an agenda.

Why so?

I wouldn't know and yet... I know.

The question I ask is that is a perception at every contact or is for real???

I felt it... a small gesture. Pressure on the side of my arm.

I felt it....a holding of the hand a little longer than required.

I felt it....the pressure of the thumb at the back of my hand.

Some fleeting touches ignite a passion or stir an emotion where some just feel warm

and are easy to let go.

To live is to connect and a connect that evokes emotion is all that really counts.

Living in isolation we all long for the connect... a true connect... one that makes us

happy. Not pleasant... genuinely happy.

That touch is to treasure forever.

Blue

It hits me out of the blue and boy do I get blue.
My arms ache to reach out and be engulfed.

I ache for the warmth that can melt away my sadness.
My body rocks to an ancient rhythm. The rocking of my body in a soothing
motion that remind me of my mother's embrace.

I ache for the love and the familiarity that is slipping away everyday.
I have loved ones around me, I am loved, I am cherished ...yet
its not enough. I miss the care and affections of the ones that are departed.

As the seasons turn,
I am reminded of their loss.
I see them in my dreams and sometimes I catch them
from the corner of my eye.
I hear their voice , calling my name and I reach my arms out...
trying to reach them.
Then I wake up and know...
that they are gone.
That begins the cycle of sadness that I have to push away everyday.

A loss is not of just a person,
but of moments, life, memories, a part of our lives.
It cannot be mourned and be moved on from.
It is something we deal with every day.
I decide each day I am not going to let it take me down.

And then....the blues hit....and boy do they hit.
My heart aches with the memory of my mother's embrace.
My father's loving hand on my fore head,
the way he tucked my strand of hair behind my ear,
how Mom got us ready for school.

How I took it all for granted ....and now....
I just wish I could go back and remember more details.
Yet all that I remember and miss most is her hugs.
His voice.
Their love.
My days ache from their loss.

I will smile and live and love....but part of me will always ache for them.

The glass in my eye is stuck...

The frame caught the corner of the other frame...
shattering the glass in an infinite number.
The crunching sound and the glint of glass that caught the light...
all happened in the blink of an eye.

The water spilt out of my eyes,
the glass had entered my eye.
The pain was immense...and yet...
there was no physical piece of glass in there.

Lying on the floor,
watching the shattered frames and cracked glasses around me...
I wonder how I arrived here.

The picture that was once a memento of a special moment,
now was covered in cracked glass,
just like the fractured love now that was once my life.

I often heard that everything comes to an end
and most often in life, I have lived the end of so much.
Yet, this was one thing I never thought would end.
The endless, honest love we shared that was the centre of my life.

Am I selfish that I want you to reach out to me?
Am I spoilt to expect a phone call?
Am I immature if I look forward to a heart to heart with you?
Can I not hope for a little understanding?
A little affection....a little satisfaction?

I do not know...but the pain of your distance and loss has entered
my eye...like the shattered glass on our picture together...and makes me
weep so often....for my eye has the glass of your memory stuck in it.....

Look .....I long for you....

I look at you longingly...my heart aching to hold you once again...

my arms jerk involuntarily every time I see you. 

All I feel like is to reach out and touch you...

Holding my breath for you to focus on me just once...

You are lost in your thoughts...busy looking 

at this world bustle around you ... as if trying to make 

sense of this newness of existence and yet you look 

like an old soul that knows. 

Your eyes are lit with the fore knowledge of the past present and the future. 

My love for you grows and grows till I think my heart will

spontaneously burst.

Your smile your gentle touch and your beauty astounds me till 

it makes me a believer that there is a God who has created beauty in 

every iota of this green blue Earth. 

I love you... I did when you were not there....I loved the thought of you...

I love you....today when I behold your form of perfection. 

I love you ... every day ..as long as I breath you will be a part of every breath

I take...you are constantly in my thoughts....when you are not with me...

I am thinking of things I want to tell you....talk to you...

when I see you ...I want to curl up with you and never let you go...

as the world does not hold any worth unless you are near... :)