One of my colleagues asked me....why dont you have kids?.....ofcourse I was offended at first by his directness...but then it got me thinking....(ofcourse I didnt tell him I had medical reasons).What does it mean to be a parent?Which lead me to observe the lives of some people around me!!!
I am an Indian who has come to live in the U.S. and find my fortune in the promised land! I am pretty new at the whole culture of it all, though I had read and watched American movies all my life.
One thing that struck me here, and made me quite upset is how a lot of Indians treat their parents. They come to the U.S to study or work or make their lives better... which is completely justified. Every human being has a right to do things to improve their quality of life. Yet, the thing about them that annoys me is- they get here, live here for a while, get married and then they *HAVE KIDS*. No No thats not the annoying part, its that as soon as they realize they cannot handle the kids,because both spouses are working, or they are a single parent or they need someone to baby sit for free or house sit for them they get their parents from India on the excuse that they want them to spend time with their grand child and they cant leave U.S(supposedly because of their work) so they sponsor their parents.
That is what is extremely annoying. I mean come on!!!! Just because they are your parents does not give you the right to exploit them. A parent would always go to extreme lengths to make their child's life easy and Indians as I am sure a lot of other ethenicities would give their life for their child. I know people have their dignity and I am sure a lot of parents refuse to be treated this way.
Yet the sad fact is, they are simple people coming from a world where they give love and respect and get a lot in return too. Their thankless children get them here on pretence of love and telling them they want to give them a good life. Once the parents are here the trap is closed on them. They are helpless in this foreign land. They cant leave as their children have the money and they dont, their passports are most probably stashed away in a safe some where.
Make no mistake! They are provided with all the comforts of home, except that they are taken advantage of in the meanest of ways. With emotional blackmail being the biggest weapon and the lure of being with their grand child.
I have seen the mothers of some of these thankless beings. They cook, clean,baby-sit,wash dishes and clothes,shop and so much else. Its like getting an unpaid servant!!!
Is that all that parents mean to people now?? Do I want to be a parent and be subjected to something like this ever? After the children move out...its their life. They have to make the best of it. Parents are there if you need support(emotional) but how you manage your life should be your own responsibility. You do not have a right to exploit sweet,innocent and especially old people.
Yes, its a good gesture to invite your parents to live with you...but only if your intention is to have their company not their services. They did not give us birth to see the day when you would treat them so because you or your wife dont have time or the ability to work out your life.
I think it is disgusting!!!
Our Parents are the roots of the tree of our lives, they deserve our love and respect not to be treated as servants because they have retired after all the years they put in, in bringing us up and sacrificing their selves for the whimps of a child who grew up to be a thankless jerk!!!
3 comments:
as long as they are in india, they can have a social life by interacting with neighbours and other old timers in the locality.
but when they are shifted to a new country, i guess most of them would struggle to adjust.
nice post. sad and i wonder if there is any hope. :(
Nice write-up. Its really a very serious problem which even i experienced when i was in UK. Its difficult to change such selfish people but not impossible.
The true face of mankind. I completely agree with the author of this article.
Today's Kids are tomorrow's parents and time will teach them a lesson, but will be too late for them to understand and apologize for there mistakes.
People are after money and better standard living etc etc and thinking about themselves and no one else. They are forgetting the true value of relationships.
Modern Adults especially women, should be more strong and should not be the cause of such a problem. I have witnessed that Son's change the way they treat there parents after marriage, as if parents dont exist anymore. The reason for that is wife is not good, she does not want to treat in laws the same as there parents. She brainwashes her husband(and if husband is blind,obviously she is going to succeed in this as she will do this for 24/7).Guys are also to be blammed as well, they are not innocent, they choose to see what wife wants to show,they become like a dog(pet) to there wife, but Indian(every) women s role is to spread love and peace as she has the power to do so.(If she can brainwash someone she can spread love as well)
Disgusting human beings.
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